Late Nights, I Want A New Phone

Today was an okay day. I woke up on time (sort of) for my early morning class and the rest of the day was a bludge. There was a fathers' day mass at school which was good since I later got to catch up with some friends I haven't seen in a while. Last period was SOR where I did nothing. The teacher should really control the class since I believe she has the potential to be a great teacher, like many of the teachers at my school. For sport, I was extremely active. I went to chess and just watched video clips from youtube, listened to music, and got addicted to bloons tower again. I'm currently playing bloons tower 4 and i should get some sleep. My sleeping pattern is so bad right now. I've been sleeping at 2am every night (or morning) and that means I get exhausted throughout the day at school. Tonight, I wasn't expecting to stay up this late (1.23am) since I started playing at 10pm. I thought I would finish by midnight but I got too hooked on. Tomorrow the school has a walk a thon and it'll be a great end to the week since I will be going to UNSW open day on saturday. I can't wait since UTS has an awesome open day. I also have tutoring this weekend which sucks since I don't want to tell them my results.. they're horrible!

Onto another issue, I want a new phone. My current phone, a nokia e5 is becoming quite outdated since I really do depend on the internet as my life (not really). When I bought an iphone 4s, it was amazing and I was really hooked with the idea that I could plan my life out on there (thoughts, ideas, events, etc). The thing is, I had it for a month and I lost it. It's so sad but since I had insurance, they covered the price of it. How it worked is that they find a price (usually a price between the original price and market price, as in from ebay, etc) and they minus $200 from that price which is the money I get back. I received $700 since the price for them was $900. It was awesome in that sense that I paid $720 for the iphone at the time. I'm waiting for the lasted iphone to come out since it should be amazing! According to rumors, it should be called the iphone 5 and will have a longer (or taller) screen since making it 4inches, not the current 3.5inch. However, as it is only a rumor we can only hope that they do increase the screen size. I have thought about getting a samsung, the s3, but i don't know since I do have a mac and the apple software is much more simple and easy to use. The samsung software however, requires me to adapt and learn how the samsung ecosystem works, which totally sucks. I will wait until the next iphone comes out before I make my decision. It may not be until christmas that I get my next phone since I know prices will drop after christmas since there will be unwanted gifts and the fact that many new phones SHOULD be released then.

I hope you all have a great sleep and a wonderful day tomorrow. If you want, please comment since I haven't had my first comment yet!

Moving On

I've been in the pits for the past day or two. I just feel so alone right now. I wish I could just have the one person who I can tell everything to, even the dark stuff. The harassment that I get from school isn't bad but it's horrible when you're the captain (yes, I got school captain) and you have no support. To be technical, I do have support but it's not the type that I can wholly rely on. I had a really long and personal (deep and meaning in other words) talk with my friend about the reason he did not get captain. The school did tell him that it was because of his faith and that just makes me getting my role as captain so insignificant. I really want to just pick up my game and do my best but i'm finding it so difficult to concentrate on anything. My thoughts are elsewhere and I do hope it motivates me to study and do my best in all I do. My first primary school motto, Aim High, has stuck with me over the years. I hope I do the best I can in life. I want to achieve to much, I want to be so many things, and there is so much I want to do. It has been a while since I've been happy for a period of time (longer than that brief moment of happiness) and truthfully so, I've been so lost. Maybe it was because I lost direction in life. Maybe not. I need to have some goals for the future or else I might go back to my dark, sinister self. I sort of cried today. I think I just needed to let my emotions out. It's so difficult to put up my facade when all I can think about is myself. I need this self-affirmation, this self-satisfaction, this.. sense of an increase in self esteem and confidence. One day in the future, I want to look back on these times and say how much I've grown since then. I need to stop being lazy and push myself to excel. I don't think i'm going into my emotional state since I am now stronger than I was before. It's 9.14pm (AEST) right now so goodnight to you all.

Good Time

A Whole Load of Everything

That song by Owl City and Carly Ray Jepsen is actually addictive. I've always loved Owl's sound, especially how he's always true to himself. I felt that the song sort of summed up how i'm feeling today, especially since I had some really good news but also, my mindset and feelings have changed. Times are always changing as change is inevitable. My sayings that really stick with me are:

Change is a constant in life.
There is no such thing as coincidence, only the inevitable.
Everything we do has a meaning, may it be big or small.
Life gets better.
There is always hope, but it tends not to come the way we expect.

And some other mumbo-jumbo.

Right now i'm feeling so defeated, even though I won. I just feel like I won't ever be able to do anything or achieve anything, unless someone is spoon feeding me. It do wish I had my naive mindset but maybe it's a time of maturity. I've come to accept the truth and not fight it. As a person in this consumerist and materialistic society, I've always been understanding. The thing is, it often meant that I'm not accepting and quite stubborn, another trait which I don't particularly dislike. I really don't feel like I want to change, or can change, but some where deep inside my heart is telling me that I want to achieve, I want to be successful, I want to be the best I can be. It's such a long and difficult track, not for me but for everyone else as well. In some way or another, we experience pain, suffering, joy, love, fulfillment - aspects of what we can label the 'human condition.' Life is so beauty yet there is this darkness in there. I believe that it's impossible for everything to be pure and perfect, yet some people believe it is so because we can't change anything because it was meant to be. Ignorance is a tool that some use or subconsciously use to fool and blind themselves from the truth. They take the meanings literally or figuratively making it difficult to fully understand and control them.

I feel like i've just been rambling on but my head (thoughts) is/are in such a mess right now.

Blog Views

Back to what I planned to write about. I actually do care about my blog views. Every time I log into blogger and check my views, I see that I have so little. I do want more views but I guess I'm not actually promoting my blog and some of the content is highly controversial in the sense that it could definitely spark a debate. I don't think I'll have my time to blog in the future but I guess this is my space for all my thoughts.

I don't know what else to write so I guess it's time to say goodnight and goodbye.

Update 1: I also wanted to mention that you should definitely leave comments. I really want to talk to the people who read my blog, even if I barely have any at all.

It Hates Me

I was working on my assignment since my last post. I felt really productive and i did quite a lot. The thing is, it's such a long assignment that i'm close to half way. There's so much research to be done and I can't believe I haven't finished my first draft. *inserts carly ray jepsen - call me maybe: THIS IS CRAAAAZY*

I stopped about 15 minutes ago since the library was about to close. I would have stayed longer if it didn't close at 5pm. I'm currently at the internet cafe now.. which i shouldn't be. I hope that i do finish it tonight, editing included. I'm not sure if i'll be able to send it to my teacher but i guess she can check it tomorrow.

I'm really hungry since i don't have money. I stopped working and recently i've started eating less, not eating healthily. I guess ever since i got sick and lost weight, i wanted to stay that way. I use to binge on fatty foods often but now I don't, except on nights that I do all-nighters.

It's 5.34pm now, time to go back home.

The World Spins Round and Round

Today I am at the State Library of NSW which is a fantastic place to study and relax. I really enjoy coming here since there it feels so tranquil and so wonderful. Right now, I am working on my assignment which is due tomorrow. I have asked one of my teachers if they were willing to proof read it before I handed it in tomorrow and she agreed, thankfully. Coffee does not mesh well with me in the mornings but I really do hope I can finish a draft soon so I can send it to her. I really do appreciate her help as my current teacher is quite lazy. I guess I am trying to make a stance by saying that I don't need her help and I can achieve a good result in comparison to the people that have asked her for her help. This really applies to my friend as we both completed a draft our last assessment (we were given the question in advance) in the morning of the exam and he did extremely well. I got 16/20 where as he got 19/20. It's quite funny as both of us have the same differences with my current teacher.

I should get back to finishing my assessment now. I just wanted to let you know what's happening today as well as the fact that I felt really light-headed just before I decided to write this post. I hope you all have a wonderful as I am too.

Also, right now it's good afternoon! (11.43am, AEST).

Not Blogging Results In A Recap

I have posted anything in 3 days. I guess it has been a busy week with the leaders for my school's SRC being chosen. I have received more english assessments which totally sucks since I have 4 in total coming up.

UTS OPEN DAY!

Today I went the the open day for UTS (university of technology sydney) which was really informative. I actually understand now how some of the basics of university and I am grateful for the tour guide who explained it all to me. There was free food and other goodies that encouraged a lot of people to go but also, the lectures were actually interesting and informative but I am still yet to make some sort of decision about what university I will be going to. I have not even decided which career path or course I want to do but I hope that in time, I will be able to make that decision.

Why Hello There

The past school week was interesting. The guy I was crushing on before has come back to school for a day but he's been away for the 2 days after. It's not good that he's only at school for 1/5 days since the government say that if you're away for 10 days unannounced, they are supposed to kick you out of the school. Good for him though.

Excuses Are For Children

I have an assignment due on monday for business studies which requires a lot of research, in particular, time. I'm sure I'll do well since I am basing it off a past assessment which makes a few things easier. To be honest, my teacher for that subject is not good at all. She's better than the other teacher but that still does not explain the reasons for why I would label her a bad teacher. To rant, she is often late for class and expects us to wait in line for her, even if she's late for up to 40 minutes. She is a year coordinator but she can't expect us to take that into consideration if she cannot take our circumstances into consideration. It's about giving and taking. There has to be a balance and this is where karma comes in. Other things is that she is behind with what she's supposed to teach. Although the assignment is due on monday, she is yet to teach us the content for it. A few lessons ago she made us summarise 1/13 chapters of the book in one night because we were behind. She gave our detentions and warnings yet she can't even mark an assessment which was given to her 8 weeks ago. Fine, there were 40 or so to mark but that just shows how unorganised she is by making those excuses.

I Am Your Leader

I can't wait for the results of the leadership to be announced since my intuition is telling me that I got school captain, not vice. Though, there is some doubt where I feel that I may not have gotten the role. I guess all my aspirations, hope and dedication will be thrown down the drain if that happened. If I was vice, i'd just let the captain do what he wants, not pushing for anything of my own. In all truth, I have put the effort in since I was younger by taking the initiatives for a lot of events at school. It may seem like i'm bragging but I definitely made the school's reputation a lot better. I organised many fundraisers for my school, I started different school initiatives such as a leadership group and also introducing an environmental group. In comparison to my "enemy," I did a lot of the "backbone" work where he only contributed by helping me. There reasons that I think that he might get the role over me is that he has more support from the students. Ever since an initiative that I took control of was ruined by a few students who wanted to do things their way, I was the obvious choice to get the role. I really do hope that I get it.

My Excuse

I really should be posting daily but my excuse is that for the past 2/3 days, my brain has felt utterly used up by the time I got home. I then just napped which didn't anything to help. I really wish I was more organised so that I'd be able to achieve much more. Time is short and opportunities are wasted if you do nothing. I need to actually complete my assignment since I've only done 1/4 of it so far. I'm at 1000 words but I don't think I will exceed 4000 since some aspects of it are mainly tables and diagrams (finance/marketing).

Today, I Love Sia, Is Life Procrastination

Expectations

I have been so lazy this year. I've always left my assessments until the last minute and I wonder why I'm not getting the marks that I used. I keep blaming myself as well as my peers and teachers but it comes down to myself. An assignment is due tomorrow and I have yet to start it.

I expect so much more out of myself, and I believe others do too. I really want to just work do what I have to do and get it over and done with. My marks in the past were extremely good: I was placing 2nd/3rd each year. Maybe because I was conceited or cocky, but I honestly did not put in the effort. If I did, I believe that I would have done so much better.

In Australia, each subject is worth units with most worth 2 units where the extension subjects are worth 1 unit. In year 11, we have to have a combined minimum of 12 units and in year 12, we only need 10 to be applicable fo an atar. I currently have 13 and am thinking of picking up an extension and then dropping to 10 units. This has been on my mind all year and I am yet to make a decision. I'm really indecisive you see. The typical question that pops up in my head right now is why can't life be easier. I could get into a debate in my head if I wanted to...

Music: David Guetta feat. Sia - She Wolf (Falling to Pieces)

I am honestly in love with Sia's music. My friend reintroduced me to her 2 years ago and when Titanium was released, I fell in love with her even more. Unlike many "pop" artists, when she's live, she sounds just like the record, not some autotune version of it. Honestly speaking, I don't mind that some artists can't sing their song live. It would be better if they could but I'm just happy they're doing what they love, and releasing "good" music (to my tastes).

Sia's latest song as you can see from the heading, is another smash. It is similar to titanium in the sense that it's got the awesome beat by Guetta and the perfect vocals by Sia. I will put the link below but I honestly love that this isn't a mainstream song about drinking/partying/drugs with little or no meaning. I don't want to think about it right now but I can tell that there's some meaning behind this song; it's written by Sia!

I hope they continue to collaborate on more songs together because they are a perfect combination; Guetta's addictive beats and Sia's perfect vocals.

Here's the link which you can stream the song online. You can buy it too but I would buying it from iTunes if it is out.

http://www.themusicninja.com/electro-house-david-guetta-ft-sia-she-wolf-falling-to-pieces/

Today, not tonight

Life-Hook

Today, I have my deep and meaningful with my closest friend. I love how I can tell him everything. I don't know what I'd do without him. For me, it's people like him that help me want to keep living. I was in the slumps and each time he gives me advice and gets me out of there. He's truly an amazing person.

Math

Today was one of those math-controlled days. I had a math exam this morning and I know that I failed. Since it's an extension, it's expected that the class average is around 40-50% since the exams are extremely difficult, possibly harder than the HSC. I just hope i'm not in the bottom percentage where letters are sent home. I honestly did not study for the exam since I was too lazy and tired yesterday.

NTS: I need to pick up my game. Prioritise = Success. (maybe not?)

Assessments = Procrastination = All-nighters

I going to have a nap now since I have an assessment due tomorrow. I hope that I will be able to do an all-nighter and finish my assessment. I will have to start and finish overnight so this nap/half-sleep (4 hours) will hopefully be able to keep me up.

Hopes and aspirations are a fancy way of saying "what is your plan"

If i'm bothered, I'm thinking of being more organised with my posts. I am currently experimenting on a format I will try to stick with for my posts but I don't have to. I know the reason I started this blog was to just express my thoughts but I want this blog to be successful and people, I believe, like stability and like to know. Once all my exams are over, which is in 4 weeks, I will have something planned. I know it's a month away but I hope that I will be regularly posting new posts.

NTS: make a technology post. (I don't think I will be reading over my past posts for a while...)

Scum and Everyday Stuff

Harassment by a pig

There is this one fat, ugly scum at my school who, because he smokes and is larger than me, thinks he can harass me. My intuition is telling me to stand up for myself but I can't since I know that he would probably bash me, or worse, call him cousins/friends to bash me. It's really frustrating and it's people like him that make me hate my school. It's changing my view of my school - I consider a majority of the people at my school scum (scumbags, whatever you want to call them). I just hope that it stops. He's been trying to go overseas, which I can't wait to happen, but he can't due to some issues that I don't know. He's also supposed to be leaving school (dropping out) but he can't for some reason or another. I'd probably celebrate if it ever happened.

One thing i'm sure of is that I know that I'll at least have one friend who'd stand by me, even though we aren't as close. My other friend, who I'm fairly close to since we have similar interests and tastes, wouldn't do the same. I've given up finding out why. I don't think it's worth out. I guess that shows the kind of friendships I have. I am the clingy type so I guess whatever goes, goes.

What happened today...

I woke up early today and got a haircut. I really liked it since it makes my head look less round (like a tomato) and the styling was good too. I just had a shower and it looks completely different. I need to learn to style my own hair or else I won't be cool (JOKES).

After my haircut I went to a local internet cafe (yes, maybe I should live in one) and I overstayed meaning that I was late for tutoring. That totally sucked since it meant that I wouldn't be able to stay out late when I get to the city, which happened. I just missed the early (usual) train to the city so I had to wait half an hour. I did some revision while waiting and also on the train. As usual, I felt a bit light-headed and couldn't think very well (fast).

Once I got to the city, I bought some sushi (beef teriyaki and ebi prawn) and a 1.5L of coke. I made my way to the internet cafe and stayed for a while, not as much as I liked to. It was.. relaxing.

I went home via train which arrived on time and I caught the bus shortly after I got off at my stop. It usually takes about 5-20 mins for the buses to arrive but luckily it came in 2 mins. It was just my luck. When I arrived home, I had leftover sausage sizzle from breakfast so that was dinner. My parents were out with my aunty for dinner so I asked them to buy me deep fried pork chops with curry and rice from a nice and cheap japanese restaurant we often go to. You can probably tell I love japanese food. What I love the most though is Italian food.

NTS: write a post about Italian food.