So Called Friends

Year 7s

So it's not a surprise to me that i'm getting harassed. This year 7 kid keeps calling me "gay" and "fag" and I guess it's affecting me because people around me, well, people in general, are judgmental. I need to approach him and tell him to stop but my pride is getting in the way. I want to be forceful and serious by threatening him but I know he has issues at home. I know that his relationship with his parents isn't the typical "normal" sort. He often gets physically punished by his parents whenever he does something wrong. He's quite afraid of his Dad i'm sure. I guess that's how I'll have to deal with him however I can see him being an idiot and say "I don't care" or running off and telling some what I said getting me into trouble. Sometimes I wonder why all this shit happens to me but I guess I just think back to my core belief regarding the issue: everything happens for a reason and it was meant to be. It leads me to think about other things such as is it a way for me to just blame something and run away? I don't know. I've been down this road many times, contemplating about various issues and just losing my mind in general. I really do wish I were more stronger (physically) and more manly.

"Friends"

It brings me to my next point. How much I can't stand the person who's most like me. We understand each other more than anyone else but I just can't stand who he is at times. I hate ignorant people and he is one of the people. He's so ignorant (deliberately) at times and it frustrates me so much. I especially hate how I call him my friend yet he is one of the last people that display "friend" characteristics. For example, I was in front of the year group trying to speak about something and I was getting harassed and he just stood back and watched. The person who I can wholly put my trust in however, stood up for me while he just acted as if nothing happened. I'm sure that event happened because he didn't want to speak up. Other times, I see people getting bullied but I can't stop them - not the way I want to though. He is taller than me (i'm short) and he's a lot stronger than me but he supposedly has these ideals where he helps the weak and as his faith "gives meaning to his life," he just stands there and laughs. He doesn't even bother after I ask him to help because I know I can't do some things where he can he doesn't do a goddamn thing. It's so frustrating that I doubt whether he's just being ignorant or it's just who he is.

Right now, what frustrates me about him is that we're doing a group assignment together. It frustrating me so much because on facebook it tells you if someone has seen the post or not. An hour after my post, I see that he has read it. The next day I check (13hours later), he still hasn't replied. I'm not the one who is supposed to organise this whole assignment. He has put in no input at all and when I confront the group about, one of the guys is a compulsive liar and says his laptop broke but he had the decency to reply. My "friend" however, reads the post and doesn't even reply, and he still hasn't. I'm really fed up with him and i'm might even help the teachers case in getting him kicked out of the class. I'm just not in the mood for things like this to happen and I will do my part and my part to the best of my ability, making sure that I get the marks that I deserve, even though I know that he has the potential to surpass me since english is more of his forte than mine.

It's almost midnight so I guess it wasn't too long ago that I posted something. I will make another post about my current dilemma however.