Lazy Post

I am currently in my examination "block" which is a period where I have all my tests one after another. It's been difficult since I have been procrastinating and cramming a subject every day. I have 5 exams (one for each day) this week so that means I have to cram for each the night before. Luckily I only have 3 next week so I don't have to go to school for the other days. It's been difficult for my body in particular since I have not been getting adequate sleep. I've been going to library every day after my examinations as I cannot study at home. Today will be an exception. I am feeling so exhausted since it's been a long week and I plan to just have a nap and do an all nighter when I get back home. I hope I actually do manage to cover most of the topics for my course and actually pass. The thing is, it's one of the those courses where I don't know if I will drop it or not next term (for year 12).

I'm actually bothered to post something today since i've done no study today. I'm at the library which means I should be studying but i'm too lazy.

Since I haven't gotten enough sleep, body is not in "top" shape. My eyes in particular are taking the toll since I do study on my laptop, staring at the screen reading or typing. I've gotten dark circles under my eyes but they're not puffy, like bags. I can't wait for the weekend since I will be able to sleep in and relax a bit. My routine will continue on monday where I'll be trying to study for math, which takes more time.

Exams and Cramming

This year has passed by so quickly (well i feel that's how i'm feeling). I wonder how I could have wasted so much time during class for me to have to cram everything I've done. So, for the next 5 consecutive days, I have my end of course exams and I need to cram everything I've done so far the night before each of them. My laziness has really led me no where and I'm taking the toll for it right now. Since it is the first exam, I should do fine (i think/i hope). I'm unsure about the rest of the exams since there is much more content and much less time. If only the weekends lasted longer!

Since I had tutoring today, it limited the time I had to study/cram this year's content and practice questions. Luckily, they've given me the extended response question which makes the exam much, much more simple. i studied at the internet cafe and after tutoring, at the state library. I got quite a lot of work done in the time I had (about 4 hours). I also did a bit of study on the train and bus but that's when I got a headache when I was doing it on the train. I took 2 tablets which has helped but I also feel like throwing up now. It totally sucks but I hope to finish studying tonight, including practising some questions.

I hope you all have a great fathers' day and enjoy the week ahead of you!

Moving On

I've been in the pits for the past day or two. I just feel so alone right now. I wish I could just have the one person who I can tell everything to, even the dark stuff. The harassment that I get from school isn't bad but it's horrible when you're the captain (yes, I got school captain) and you have no support. To be technical, I do have support but it's not the type that I can wholly rely on. I had a really long and personal (deep and meaning in other words) talk with my friend about the reason he did not get captain. The school did tell him that it was because of his faith and that just makes me getting my role as captain so insignificant. I really want to just pick up my game and do my best but i'm finding it so difficult to concentrate on anything. My thoughts are elsewhere and I do hope it motivates me to study and do my best in all I do. My first primary school motto, Aim High, has stuck with me over the years. I hope I do the best I can in life. I want to achieve to much, I want to be so many things, and there is so much I want to do. It has been a while since I've been happy for a period of time (longer than that brief moment of happiness) and truthfully so, I've been so lost. Maybe it was because I lost direction in life. Maybe not. I need to have some goals for the future or else I might go back to my dark, sinister self. I sort of cried today. I think I just needed to let my emotions out. It's so difficult to put up my facade when all I can think about is myself. I need this self-affirmation, this self-satisfaction, this.. sense of an increase in self esteem and confidence. One day in the future, I want to look back on these times and say how much I've grown since then. I need to stop being lazy and push myself to excel. I don't think i'm going into my emotional state since I am now stronger than I was before. It's 9.14pm (AEST) right now so goodnight to you all.

It Hates Me

I was working on my assignment since my last post. I felt really productive and i did quite a lot. The thing is, it's such a long assignment that i'm close to half way. There's so much research to be done and I can't believe I haven't finished my first draft. *inserts carly ray jepsen - call me maybe: THIS IS CRAAAAZY*

I stopped about 15 minutes ago since the library was about to close. I would have stayed longer if it didn't close at 5pm. I'm currently at the internet cafe now.. which i shouldn't be. I hope that i do finish it tonight, editing included. I'm not sure if i'll be able to send it to my teacher but i guess she can check it tomorrow.

I'm really hungry since i don't have money. I stopped working and recently i've started eating less, not eating healthily. I guess ever since i got sick and lost weight, i wanted to stay that way. I use to binge on fatty foods often but now I don't, except on nights that I do all-nighters.

It's 5.34pm now, time to go back home.

The World Spins Round and Round

Today I am at the State Library of NSW which is a fantastic place to study and relax. I really enjoy coming here since there it feels so tranquil and so wonderful. Right now, I am working on my assignment which is due tomorrow. I have asked one of my teachers if they were willing to proof read it before I handed it in tomorrow and she agreed, thankfully. Coffee does not mesh well with me in the mornings but I really do hope I can finish a draft soon so I can send it to her. I really do appreciate her help as my current teacher is quite lazy. I guess I am trying to make a stance by saying that I don't need her help and I can achieve a good result in comparison to the people that have asked her for her help. This really applies to my friend as we both completed a draft our last assessment (we were given the question in advance) in the morning of the exam and he did extremely well. I got 16/20 where as he got 19/20. It's quite funny as both of us have the same differences with my current teacher.

I should get back to finishing my assessment now. I just wanted to let you know what's happening today as well as the fact that I felt really light-headed just before I decided to write this post. I hope you all have a wonderful as I am too.

Also, right now it's good afternoon! (11.43am, AEST).