The Past Samsung Galaxy S3

All day I have done nothing. I spent most of my time watching anime and also preparing for upcoming events. More importantly, I spent my day searching for a samsung galaxy s3 to buy. After all these days of searching, I finally found one at the right price. It took me a while but although it wasn't what I was looking for exactly, it was close. At this point in time, the phones are selling for $520 for a 16gb, brand new in box (BNIB). You can get it for that price at kogan.com.au. However, I could have got it for $550 a few months ago. To compensate, I wanted it for a cheap price. A really cheap price. I found it at gumtree.com.au where a person was selling it for $400. He offered me $380 thank goodness. The catch is, I won't get the phone for another week to two weeks and, I have to pay by bank deposit, right now. It really sucks since if he's lying, I lose all that. I don't think there's any insurance of scams/frauds. He said that we will meet in person so I will get his contact details and bank details before I deposit the money. I pray that this is not a scam because there was a great deal that I missed out on already. I honestly do wish that the iphone 5 was much better so that I would be convinced to spend money for something that is absurdly overpriced (not really seeing as it is seen as a "luxury item" and they pay a lot for the branding).

Samsung Galaxy S3

I forgot to mention that it's holidays right now. I decided that I would spend my day cleaning my room and begin reading a book but I did none of that. Tomorrow, well, today, I will be going out with friends which I am looking forward to because I really do miss my friend. He is one of the people that keep me standing and since I have trust issues, i'm starting to doubt him since our friend told me that he only invited me so it wouldn't be boring. What kind of excuse is that? I've been feeling quite low/in the pits recently so I don't want to doubt him. I want to make my own decisions, not based on preconceived ideas. I just hope that he feels the same way I do. I guess this may be the right opportunity to tell you how I met him, as well as a little into my past.

The past

When I was younger, I was extremely addicted to online games, MMORPG (massive multiplayer online role playing game). I began to realise the cause of the addiction and it was escapism. Since about the age of 11, I was depressed and then, I considered myself an "emo" - someone who is emotionally. At the time however, there were negative connotations. Emos usually cut their wrists and dressed in black with a fringe that covered their eyes. I was like that. I had a fringe that covered my eye and in all honesty, I wanted to cut myself, to erase the pain away. Though, I could bring myself to do it. As always, I've always been too chicken. The years went on and playing games really helped me escape from the reality I lived in. At the time, I was quite popular at school. I was a rebel and still, am strongly opinionated (even though my choices are often easily influenced). This made of one of the cool guys but as time went on, my ignorance got the better of me. I was treating people as if they were lower life forms than me and it really started to show when I needed someone to turn to, and I had no one. I was all alone and depressed. During several instances, I met people online. One of these times I met a guy who I sort of fell for. He was cool, charming and really "nice." Once I met him. As I often base my judgments of how people look, I started to turn away and ignore the guy. I felt sorry for myself for being so stupid and ignorant. It was however, all about me. Then it came to this instance where I was playing a game and most people in this "guild" (group of players) became really close. We all added each other on facebook, msn and whatnot but I was particular fond of, well, attached of this one guy. He was also really cool and unlike the other time, I knew what he looked like. He was quite cute and really good at games. We often talked though I mainly clung onto him. One day I mustered up the courage to tell him that he was my best friend, even though I knew that he felt otherwise. I needed someone to help me stand, and he did. Through my delusions and self-absorption, I was able to make myself think that I had someone who cared and needed me. This was all happened mostly when I was 14. Now, at the age of 16, I finally got over my depression. After all these years, all the suffering and pain I went through, it came to an end. How? I was watching the news once and they were promoting a cause about depression in men in particular. The one thing that struct me was when he said, "sometimes it's okay to be depressed" and at the instance, I felt my troubles slowly fade away. I was so relieved. At this moment however, I have no confidence. I have trust issues. But, I am no longer how I used to be, all depressed and self-centred. I am still lost though, I don't know what I'm doing and where I'm meant to go. I'm just living life one day at a time.

Thanks for reading this if you do. I hope that I have shed some light onto my past in which it might help you in some way. Feel free to ask me anything (nearly).

Unorganised Excuses

So it's nearly the end of the schooling term and I've still got assessments on, even though I have just finish my examination block for the preliminary course. Some subjects are utterly unorganised at my school. I dread seeing the subject co ordinator since I know that it will only make me hate her more. She's such a bitch and I can't stand how she gives close to no shit about the students. It's one thing to not care about the students and it's also one thing to not be able to do your job. As the co ordinator, she should be trying to help the students out as much as possible, and also make sure everything flows somewhat smoothly. Ever since she came, assessments have been crammed into small short periods of time and the marks and weighting do no weigh up properly. I honestly question her integrity even as a teacher as my informants (aka friends) from her class tell me how useless she is. I know english is one of those subjects where it's difficult to teach as catering for everyone's needs is quite a difficult task. But for her to be unable to organise the assessment schedule and other required information for us is unacceptable. I know that I should put some blame on my actual teacher but I know that she has tried her best in her own way. She's not used to how our school operates as she is fairly new at my school. However, it's still not an excuse to not do her job properly and I can (want to) attribute that fault all to the co ordinator. She irritates me with her inability to nicely approach the students studying the courses, which is the whole school. I honestly hope that she does get her act together or leave as soon as possible. It will only lead to the downfall of our school's english department which is already looked down upon by the english co ordinator.

Exams and Cramming

This year has passed by so quickly (well i feel that's how i'm feeling). I wonder how I could have wasted so much time during class for me to have to cram everything I've done. So, for the next 5 consecutive days, I have my end of course exams and I need to cram everything I've done so far the night before each of them. My laziness has really led me no where and I'm taking the toll for it right now. Since it is the first exam, I should do fine (i think/i hope). I'm unsure about the rest of the exams since there is much more content and much less time. If only the weekends lasted longer!

Since I had tutoring today, it limited the time I had to study/cram this year's content and practice questions. Luckily, they've given me the extended response question which makes the exam much, much more simple. i studied at the internet cafe and after tutoring, at the state library. I got quite a lot of work done in the time I had (about 4 hours). I also did a bit of study on the train and bus but that's when I got a headache when I was doing it on the train. I took 2 tablets which has helped but I also feel like throwing up now. It totally sucks but I hope to finish studying tonight, including practising some questions.

I hope you all have a great fathers' day and enjoy the week ahead of you!

Late Nights, I Want A New Phone

Today was an okay day. I woke up on time (sort of) for my early morning class and the rest of the day was a bludge. There was a fathers' day mass at school which was good since I later got to catch up with some friends I haven't seen in a while. Last period was SOR where I did nothing. The teacher should really control the class since I believe she has the potential to be a great teacher, like many of the teachers at my school. For sport, I was extremely active. I went to chess and just watched video clips from youtube, listened to music, and got addicted to bloons tower again. I'm currently playing bloons tower 4 and i should get some sleep. My sleeping pattern is so bad right now. I've been sleeping at 2am every night (or morning) and that means I get exhausted throughout the day at school. Tonight, I wasn't expecting to stay up this late (1.23am) since I started playing at 10pm. I thought I would finish by midnight but I got too hooked on. Tomorrow the school has a walk a thon and it'll be a great end to the week since I will be going to UNSW open day on saturday. I can't wait since UTS has an awesome open day. I also have tutoring this weekend which sucks since I don't want to tell them my results.. they're horrible!

Onto another issue, I want a new phone. My current phone, a nokia e5 is becoming quite outdated since I really do depend on the internet as my life (not really). When I bought an iphone 4s, it was amazing and I was really hooked with the idea that I could plan my life out on there (thoughts, ideas, events, etc). The thing is, I had it for a month and I lost it. It's so sad but since I had insurance, they covered the price of it. How it worked is that they find a price (usually a price between the original price and market price, as in from ebay, etc) and they minus $200 from that price which is the money I get back. I received $700 since the price for them was $900. It was awesome in that sense that I paid $720 for the iphone at the time. I'm waiting for the lasted iphone to come out since it should be amazing! According to rumors, it should be called the iphone 5 and will have a longer (or taller) screen since making it 4inches, not the current 3.5inch. However, as it is only a rumor we can only hope that they do increase the screen size. I have thought about getting a samsung, the s3, but i don't know since I do have a mac and the apple software is much more simple and easy to use. The samsung software however, requires me to adapt and learn how the samsung ecosystem works, which totally sucks. I will wait until the next iphone comes out before I make my decision. It may not be until christmas that I get my next phone since I know prices will drop after christmas since there will be unwanted gifts and the fact that many new phones SHOULD be released then.

I hope you all have a great sleep and a wonderful day tomorrow. If you want, please comment since I haven't had my first comment yet!

Not Blogging Results In A Recap

I have posted anything in 3 days. I guess it has been a busy week with the leaders for my school's SRC being chosen. I have received more english assessments which totally sucks since I have 4 in total coming up.

UTS OPEN DAY!

Today I went the the open day for UTS (university of technology sydney) which was really informative. I actually understand now how some of the basics of university and I am grateful for the tour guide who explained it all to me. There was free food and other goodies that encouraged a lot of people to go but also, the lectures were actually interesting and informative but I am still yet to make some sort of decision about what university I will be going to. I have not even decided which career path or course I want to do but I hope that in time, I will be able to make that decision.

Why Hello There

The past school week was interesting. The guy I was crushing on before has come back to school for a day but he's been away for the 2 days after. It's not good that he's only at school for 1/5 days since the government say that if you're away for 10 days unannounced, they are supposed to kick you out of the school. Good for him though.

Excuses Are For Children

I have an assignment due on monday for business studies which requires a lot of research, in particular, time. I'm sure I'll do well since I am basing it off a past assessment which makes a few things easier. To be honest, my teacher for that subject is not good at all. She's better than the other teacher but that still does not explain the reasons for why I would label her a bad teacher. To rant, she is often late for class and expects us to wait in line for her, even if she's late for up to 40 minutes. She is a year coordinator but she can't expect us to take that into consideration if she cannot take our circumstances into consideration. It's about giving and taking. There has to be a balance and this is where karma comes in. Other things is that she is behind with what she's supposed to teach. Although the assignment is due on monday, she is yet to teach us the content for it. A few lessons ago she made us summarise 1/13 chapters of the book in one night because we were behind. She gave our detentions and warnings yet she can't even mark an assessment which was given to her 8 weeks ago. Fine, there were 40 or so to mark but that just shows how unorganised she is by making those excuses.

I Am Your Leader

I can't wait for the results of the leadership to be announced since my intuition is telling me that I got school captain, not vice. Though, there is some doubt where I feel that I may not have gotten the role. I guess all my aspirations, hope and dedication will be thrown down the drain if that happened. If I was vice, i'd just let the captain do what he wants, not pushing for anything of my own. In all truth, I have put the effort in since I was younger by taking the initiatives for a lot of events at school. It may seem like i'm bragging but I definitely made the school's reputation a lot better. I organised many fundraisers for my school, I started different school initiatives such as a leadership group and also introducing an environmental group. In comparison to my "enemy," I did a lot of the "backbone" work where he only contributed by helping me. There reasons that I think that he might get the role over me is that he has more support from the students. Ever since an initiative that I took control of was ruined by a few students who wanted to do things their way, I was the obvious choice to get the role. I really do hope that I get it.

My Excuse

I really should be posting daily but my excuse is that for the past 2/3 days, my brain has felt utterly used up by the time I got home. I then just napped which didn't anything to help. I really wish I was more organised so that I'd be able to achieve much more. Time is short and opportunities are wasted if you do nothing. I need to actually complete my assignment since I've only done 1/4 of it so far. I'm at 1000 words but I don't think I will exceed 4000 since some aspects of it are mainly tables and diagrams (finance/marketing).

Today, I Love Sia, Is Life Procrastination

Expectations

I have been so lazy this year. I've always left my assessments until the last minute and I wonder why I'm not getting the marks that I used. I keep blaming myself as well as my peers and teachers but it comes down to myself. An assignment is due tomorrow and I have yet to start it.

I expect so much more out of myself, and I believe others do too. I really want to just work do what I have to do and get it over and done with. My marks in the past were extremely good: I was placing 2nd/3rd each year. Maybe because I was conceited or cocky, but I honestly did not put in the effort. If I did, I believe that I would have done so much better.

In Australia, each subject is worth units with most worth 2 units where the extension subjects are worth 1 unit. In year 11, we have to have a combined minimum of 12 units and in year 12, we only need 10 to be applicable fo an atar. I currently have 13 and am thinking of picking up an extension and then dropping to 10 units. This has been on my mind all year and I am yet to make a decision. I'm really indecisive you see. The typical question that pops up in my head right now is why can't life be easier. I could get into a debate in my head if I wanted to...

Music: David Guetta feat. Sia - She Wolf (Falling to Pieces)

I am honestly in love with Sia's music. My friend reintroduced me to her 2 years ago and when Titanium was released, I fell in love with her even more. Unlike many "pop" artists, when she's live, she sounds just like the record, not some autotune version of it. Honestly speaking, I don't mind that some artists can't sing their song live. It would be better if they could but I'm just happy they're doing what they love, and releasing "good" music (to my tastes).

Sia's latest song as you can see from the heading, is another smash. It is similar to titanium in the sense that it's got the awesome beat by Guetta and the perfect vocals by Sia. I will put the link below but I honestly love that this isn't a mainstream song about drinking/partying/drugs with little or no meaning. I don't want to think about it right now but I can tell that there's some meaning behind this song; it's written by Sia!

I hope they continue to collaborate on more songs together because they are a perfect combination; Guetta's addictive beats and Sia's perfect vocals.

Here's the link which you can stream the song online. You can buy it too but I would buying it from iTunes if it is out.

http://www.themusicninja.com/electro-house-david-guetta-ft-sia-she-wolf-falling-to-pieces/

Today, not tonight

Life-Hook

Today, I have my deep and meaningful with my closest friend. I love how I can tell him everything. I don't know what I'd do without him. For me, it's people like him that help me want to keep living. I was in the slumps and each time he gives me advice and gets me out of there. He's truly an amazing person.

Math

Today was one of those math-controlled days. I had a math exam this morning and I know that I failed. Since it's an extension, it's expected that the class average is around 40-50% since the exams are extremely difficult, possibly harder than the HSC. I just hope i'm not in the bottom percentage where letters are sent home. I honestly did not study for the exam since I was too lazy and tired yesterday.

NTS: I need to pick up my game. Prioritise = Success. (maybe not?)

Assessments = Procrastination = All-nighters

I going to have a nap now since I have an assessment due tomorrow. I hope that I will be able to do an all-nighter and finish my assessment. I will have to start and finish overnight so this nap/half-sleep (4 hours) will hopefully be able to keep me up.

Hopes and aspirations are a fancy way of saying "what is your plan"

If i'm bothered, I'm thinking of being more organised with my posts. I am currently experimenting on a format I will try to stick with for my posts but I don't have to. I know the reason I started this blog was to just express my thoughts but I want this blog to be successful and people, I believe, like stability and like to know. Once all my exams are over, which is in 4 weeks, I will have something planned. I know it's a month away but I hope that I will be regularly posting new posts.

NTS: make a technology post. (I don't think I will be reading over my past posts for a while...)