Yes, Fuck You

Today was quite a wild day. It was a long day with good aspects to it though, there were also some which I'd rather not have happened. I went out with my friends today, the typical day where we just went to the city, ate and played around. What really put me off today was then when I said that I would go into a store for no longer than 2 mins (which I only went in for 1 min), they ditched me and left me there. I was so frustrated at my friend that I was thinking of just going home. I just couldn't believe how selfish and immature that was of her. Of course I know that I should be the one who shouldn't have gone in the first place but the fact that she just left me on my own really ticked me off. I know that they knew I was really pissed off. I just hope that they learnt their lesson - i'm a self-centred motherfucker thank you very much. On the bright side, I met one of my friend's unofficial girlfriend. They were quite cute together and were really shy about being together. They haven't even discussed anything beyond going on a date. I wish them all the best.

I'm not sure if I mentioned this but I am currently on holidays. I really want to just sit back and study but i'm not sure how successful I will be at taking the first step to doing so. There's so much running through my head right now but I don't feel like doing anything. It's been a long day and if I bother, I will add more to this post later on today. I hope you all have a great sleep. Good night!

My 9/11: Depression, Stats, Recount

I've been feeling quite down today. I think I've cured my depression but it's difficult some times. I think of hurting myself but I know for a fact that I'm too scared to do that. I just want to run away from everything and start anew. I want to explore the world and make new friends, living life to its fullest. I guess it's my way of saying "fuck you, I'm having a terrible time because of you fuckers around me." Sometimes I feel so sick of the world. Or sometimes, I just hate everyone. I just want to be happy and i guess it's true to say that ignorance is bliss. With denial, you shine a light on a new world. A world without certain troubles but in all honesty, I don't think that will lead to any good. You can say that other troubles will arise and correctly so. I just don't want to think about it right now. I guess I need my "me" time.

I checked my stats and I reached over 100 views. 101 views to be exact. The thing is though, I still have not had one comment. It's not frustrating but I guess disappointing. It'd be nice to have someone comment. I've mentioned this before but I do want to connect to the people that read my posts, even if it's once. I get this feeling that something good will develop from this. On the other hand, I don't want people knowing who I am exactly. As in, I don't want the people that know me knowing about this. It really is just a space for my thoughts, mostly rants or a whole load of bullshit but still. I really do hope that no one every finds out about it. I'm extremely conscientious about.

My day was okay I guess. I didn't get enough sleep and going to study is not a good idea. I definitely need my rest in order to think properly. I had some interesting events change such as being unable to attend an event because I have to help hand out awards at a graduation dinner. Kind of sucks. I'll have to pay the money which she already paid though. 'farking hell.'

I'm feeling rather off my head right now. I've forced myself to write (when I have absolutely no wanting to write) because I had to. It's difficult forcing yourself to write when you know you need to. I do want be a better writer though. I think the english language is fabulous and that there is so much to learn.

I'm going to end here since I don't have any other thoughts to express. If I did, I'd be glad to post it and increase the length of this post.

Also, I would like to commemorate 9/11 today. Lest we forget. Rest in peace.

Public Transport, Dinner and Daily Routines

Studying = Headaches

I caught the train home from the internet cafe and decided to do some math problems (You see, I have a math exam on monday) which was not the best idea. After doing 7 basic questions, my head started hurting. It often occurs whilst I'm travelling. I can't read books in the car yet I can on the train. My head felt so foggy and when I got home I did absolutely no study.

Dinner = Vomit

We went out for dinner a bit after and I ate quite a lot. Adding dessert to that wasn't a good idea. I went to the washroom to wash my hands (at times, i'm quite the clean freak) and maybe it was the putrid urinal smell or the like but I slightly threw up the banana frittata. That reminded me of this morning where after I brushed my teeth, I started regurgitating but since I hadn't eaten yet, all that came out was saliva. I was recently sick and I think my body wasn't used to me eating so much. I lost some weight which is good (i'm been gorging on fatty foods since I had exams) and everything just seemed to connect.

Last words...

I guess I should be going to sleep now. I need to wake up early and get a haircut tomorrow. I've also got tutoring on so it's going to be an exciting day. I honestly do not know what style to get my hair cut. I often just tell them to shorten it but I guess I want a new style.

It's 11.17pm in Australia right now so I will be going to bed now. I hope you all have a great sleep, especially if it's raining where you are. I will post more tomorrow!