Saturday, September 8, 2012

Sickness is the Worstess

So you can tell from the title what this post will be about. I got sick from my cousin yesterday so I woke up at 5.30am this morning throwing up last nights dinner. Terrific. This morning my body seemed fine but as the day progressed, I felt more and more sick. I started getting a headache (or migraine?) and then my stomach felt really bad and when that happens, we all know what comes out instead of the usual. I haven't eaten much food all day. It was only recently that I actually felt well enough to eat. Earlier in the day the smell of food made me want to throw up. Now, I guess i'm a lot better since my stomach doesn't hurt as much as after taking quite a lot of panadol (2 tablets every 4 hours), my head doesn't hurt as much. My temperature was high earlier on until I had a shower. Both my ears over over 39 degrees celsius with the right eat at 39.5 degrees. I hope that I'm well enough to go to tutoring tomorrow since I need to revise some stuff before my exams. I think that my immune system was rather week with myself not getting enough sleep and putting a lot of pressure on myself during the course of my other exams. I should really work diligently throughout the year so that I don't have to put all this pressure on myself the day before the exams. I can't wait to get better.. It's such a drag being sick. Anyways, I hope you're all doing fine and I hope you have great weekend!

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Lazy Post

I am currently in my examination "block" which is a period where I have all my tests one after another. It's been difficult since I have been procrastinating and cramming a subject every day. I have 5 exams (one for each day) this week so that means I have to cram for each the night before. Luckily I only have 3 next week so I don't have to go to school for the other days. It's been difficult for my body in particular since I have not been getting adequate sleep. I've been going to library every day after my examinations as I cannot study at home. Today will be an exception. I am feeling so exhausted since it's been a long week and I plan to just have a nap and do an all nighter when I get back home. I hope I actually do manage to cover most of the topics for my course and actually pass. The thing is, it's one of the those courses where I don't know if I will drop it or not next term (for year 12).

I'm actually bothered to post something today since i've done no study today. I'm at the library which means I should be studying but i'm too lazy.

Since I haven't gotten enough sleep, body is not in "top" shape. My eyes in particular are taking the toll since I do study on my laptop, staring at the screen reading or typing. I've gotten dark circles under my eyes but they're not puffy, like bags. I can't wait for the weekend since I will be able to sleep in and relax a bit. My routine will continue on monday where I'll be trying to study for math, which takes more time.

Sunday, September 2, 2012

Exams and Cramming

This year has passed by so quickly (well i feel that's how i'm feeling). I wonder how I could have wasted so much time during class for me to have to cram everything I've done. So, for the next 5 consecutive days, I have my end of course exams and I need to cram everything I've done so far the night before each of them. My laziness has really led me no where and I'm taking the toll for it right now. Since it is the first exam, I should do fine (i think/i hope). I'm unsure about the rest of the exams since there is much more content and much less time. If only the weekends lasted longer!

Since I had tutoring today, it limited the time I had to study/cram this year's content and practice questions. Luckily, they've given me the extended response question which makes the exam much, much more simple. i studied at the internet cafe and after tutoring, at the state library. I got quite a lot of work done in the time I had (about 4 hours). I also did a bit of study on the train and bus but that's when I got a headache when I was doing it on the train. I took 2 tablets which has helped but I also feel like throwing up now. It totally sucks but I hope to finish studying tonight, including practising some questions.

I hope you all have a great fathers' day and enjoy the week ahead of you!

Friday, August 31, 2012

Late Nights, I Want A New Phone

Today was an okay day. I woke up on time (sort of) for my early morning class and the rest of the day was a bludge. There was a fathers' day mass at school which was good since I later got to catch up with some friends I haven't seen in a while. Last period was SOR where I did nothing. The teacher should really control the class since I believe she has the potential to be a great teacher, like many of the teachers at my school. For sport, I was extremely active. I went to chess and just watched video clips from youtube, listened to music, and got addicted to bloons tower again. I'm currently playing bloons tower 4 and i should get some sleep. My sleeping pattern is so bad right now. I've been sleeping at 2am every night (or morning) and that means I get exhausted throughout the day at school. Tonight, I wasn't expecting to stay up this late (1.23am) since I started playing at 10pm. I thought I would finish by midnight but I got too hooked on. Tomorrow the school has a walk a thon and it'll be a great end to the week since I will be going to UNSW open day on saturday. I can't wait since UTS has an awesome open day. I also have tutoring this weekend which sucks since I don't want to tell them my results.. they're horrible!

Onto another issue, I want a new phone. My current phone, a nokia e5 is becoming quite outdated since I really do depend on the internet as my life (not really). When I bought an iphone 4s, it was amazing and I was really hooked with the idea that I could plan my life out on there (thoughts, ideas, events, etc). The thing is, I had it for a month and I lost it. It's so sad but since I had insurance, they covered the price of it. How it worked is that they find a price (usually a price between the original price and market price, as in from ebay, etc) and they minus $200 from that price which is the money I get back. I received $700 since the price for them was $900. It was awesome in that sense that I paid $720 for the iphone at the time. I'm waiting for the lasted iphone to come out since it should be amazing! According to rumors, it should be called the iphone 5 and will have a longer (or taller) screen since making it 4inches, not the current 3.5inch. However, as it is only a rumor we can only hope that they do increase the screen size. I have thought about getting a samsung, the s3, but i don't know since I do have a mac and the apple software is much more simple and easy to use. The samsung software however, requires me to adapt and learn how the samsung ecosystem works, which totally sucks. I will wait until the next iphone comes out before I make my decision. It may not be until christmas that I get my next phone since I know prices will drop after christmas since there will be unwanted gifts and the fact that many new phones SHOULD be released then.

I hope you all have a great sleep and a wonderful day tomorrow. If you want, please comment since I haven't had my first comment yet!

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Moving On

I've been in the pits for the past day or two. I just feel so alone right now. I wish I could just have the one person who I can tell everything to, even the dark stuff. The harassment that I get from school isn't bad but it's horrible when you're the captain (yes, I got school captain) and you have no support. To be technical, I do have support but it's not the type that I can wholly rely on. I had a really long and personal (deep and meaning in other words) talk with my friend about the reason he did not get captain. The school did tell him that it was because of his faith and that just makes me getting my role as captain so insignificant. I really want to just pick up my game and do my best but i'm finding it so difficult to concentrate on anything. My thoughts are elsewhere and I do hope it motivates me to study and do my best in all I do. My first primary school motto, Aim High, has stuck with me over the years. I hope I do the best I can in life. I want to achieve to much, I want to be so many things, and there is so much I want to do. It has been a while since I've been happy for a period of time (longer than that brief moment of happiness) and truthfully so, I've been so lost. Maybe it was because I lost direction in life. Maybe not. I need to have some goals for the future or else I might go back to my dark, sinister self. I sort of cried today. I think I just needed to let my emotions out. It's so difficult to put up my facade when all I can think about is myself. I need this self-affirmation, this self-satisfaction, this.. sense of an increase in self esteem and confidence. One day in the future, I want to look back on these times and say how much I've grown since then. I need to stop being lazy and push myself to excel. I don't think i'm going into my emotional state since I am now stronger than I was before. It's 9.14pm (AEST) right now so goodnight to you all.

Monday, August 27, 2012

Good Time

A Whole Load of Everything

That song by Owl City and Carly Ray Jepsen is actually addictive. I've always loved Owl's sound, especially how he's always true to himself. I felt that the song sort of summed up how i'm feeling today, especially since I had some really good news but also, my mindset and feelings have changed. Times are always changing as change is inevitable. My sayings that really stick with me are:

Change is a constant in life.
There is no such thing as coincidence, only the inevitable.
Everything we do has a meaning, may it be big or small.
Life gets better.
There is always hope, but it tends not to come the way we expect.

And some other mumbo-jumbo.

Right now i'm feeling so defeated, even though I won. I just feel like I won't ever be able to do anything or achieve anything, unless someone is spoon feeding me. It do wish I had my naive mindset but maybe it's a time of maturity. I've come to accept the truth and not fight it. As a person in this consumerist and materialistic society, I've always been understanding. The thing is, it often meant that I'm not accepting and quite stubborn, another trait which I don't particularly dislike. I really don't feel like I want to change, or can change, but some where deep inside my heart is telling me that I want to achieve, I want to be successful, I want to be the best I can be. It's such a long and difficult track, not for me but for everyone else as well. In some way or another, we experience pain, suffering, joy, love, fulfillment - aspects of what we can label the 'human condition.' Life is so beauty yet there is this darkness in there. I believe that it's impossible for everything to be pure and perfect, yet some people believe it is so because we can't change anything because it was meant to be. Ignorance is a tool that some use or subconsciously use to fool and blind themselves from the truth. They take the meanings literally or figuratively making it difficult to fully understand and control them.

I feel like i've just been rambling on but my head (thoughts) is/are in such a mess right now.

Blog Views

Back to what I planned to write about. I actually do care about my blog views. Every time I log into blogger and check my views, I see that I have so little. I do want more views but I guess I'm not actually promoting my blog and some of the content is highly controversial in the sense that it could definitely spark a debate. I don't think I'll have my time to blog in the future but I guess this is my space for all my thoughts.

I don't know what else to write so I guess it's time to say goodnight and goodbye.

Update 1: I also wanted to mention that you should definitely leave comments. I really want to talk to the people who read my blog, even if I barely have any at all.

Sunday, August 26, 2012

It Hates Me

I was working on my assignment since my last post. I felt really productive and i did quite a lot. The thing is, it's such a long assignment that i'm close to half way. There's so much research to be done and I can't believe I haven't finished my first draft. *inserts carly ray jepsen - call me maybe: THIS IS CRAAAAZY*

I stopped about 15 minutes ago since the library was about to close. I would have stayed longer if it didn't close at 5pm. I'm currently at the internet cafe now.. which i shouldn't be. I hope that i do finish it tonight, editing included. I'm not sure if i'll be able to send it to my teacher but i guess she can check it tomorrow.

I'm really hungry since i don't have money. I stopped working and recently i've started eating less, not eating healthily. I guess ever since i got sick and lost weight, i wanted to stay that way. I use to binge on fatty foods often but now I don't, except on nights that I do all-nighters.

It's 5.34pm now, time to go back home.

The World Spins Round and Round

Today I am at the State Library of NSW which is a fantastic place to study and relax. I really enjoy coming here since there it feels so tranquil and so wonderful. Right now, I am working on my assignment which is due tomorrow. I have asked one of my teachers if they were willing to proof read it before I handed it in tomorrow and she agreed, thankfully. Coffee does not mesh well with me in the mornings but I really do hope I can finish a draft soon so I can send it to her. I really do appreciate her help as my current teacher is quite lazy. I guess I am trying to make a stance by saying that I don't need her help and I can achieve a good result in comparison to the people that have asked her for her help. This really applies to my friend as we both completed a draft our last assessment (we were given the question in advance) in the morning of the exam and he did extremely well. I got 16/20 where as he got 19/20. It's quite funny as both of us have the same differences with my current teacher.

I should get back to finishing my assessment now. I just wanted to let you know what's happening today as well as the fact that I felt really light-headed just before I decided to write this post. I hope you all have a wonderful as I am too.

Also, right now it's good afternoon! (11.43am, AEST).